exceptioN

maybe she know
somewhere deep in her soul
that love never lasts..

and she's got to find a way
to keep it in a comfortable distance
and she has been always lived like this
up till now she had sworn to herself that
she's content with loneliness
ever tried to give her love to someone
that she thought he can be trusted
but it came back with disappointments

none of it was ever worth the risk
well, he is the only exception

imperfecT

nothing is perfect in this world
human always never satisfy with what they have
instead putting blames on it
never know to appreciate for what have been done for them
always think that things are made for them

while they were looking for a god one
they never realize that
they actually had the better one
stepping into a worse condition
challenging while enjoying the risk
thought that it was better
but end up with a jokes among peoples

sometimes Perfect couldn't achieve happy
it may brings satisfaction
but maybe it doesn't correspond
try to let go the strawberry on the floor
the cake still tastes great
without the strawberry on it
Imperfect sometimes earns more happy

things hardly last long or forever
the most important is
treasure every moment that we have
the memories will last forever

dolL * 47 - fakenesS

fake sincerity only shows the bareness of its own
once again she realized that
her sincere has been treated like air
the more she knew
the stranger she felt
the more far she walked away

taking her as granted
to reach own purposes
the act of disguising
do thing with halfheartedly
just like a fake branded item
which worth no value

life charming like fireworks
but it's just the fascinating
for a short moment only
it goes back to dull again
remains silence after the bloom
it takes years to build up the trust

and just seconds to destroy it

dolL * 46 - balloonS

seeing ways of the world changing all around
seems up side down
impossible can be possible

peoples begin their new life with new peoples
strangers could turn into couples
probably end up with nothing one day
from the dearest became stranger
the stranger ever most familiar with
wish to be deleted from memories
or keep the slight connection in between
sometimes feel strange with the closest one
seems knowing less
after get along with each other

the balloons used to be colorful
but not anymore..
some faded
some been taken away
some broken
some flew away into the sky
she's holding those been left over
in her hand

with a love one
she cares, she shares;
much concerns and worries..
without a love one
she found herself released
with bareness sometimes..

she's still be her own doll
walking on the street
waiting for someone
to move into her heart

dolL * 45 - endurE

she's living under miserable

before disclose the truth of the story
the sky was always cloudy
even the rain has stopped
it aint got anymore reason
for her to restrict for it
slowly she has learn to let go..

the destination is not what matters
it's the path taken that value her journey
things that always remind her of him
enhance her day with memories
now she can lived with it bravely
as one can't escape from the past
somehow it mold her till today
affects her a little
that's where she learn and grew

the moment when the decision is made
she able to bear a smile
without any burden and worries
her heart draws a dream
traveling and shopping
hanging out with dearest friends
she's much more cheerful than before
even she cut her finger
still she can endure it
it's not that pain anymore..

emptiness in longing
bareness of belonging
she feels missing out of no where
her love is transparent
she could breathe it but cant hold it
it couldn't be seen till someone received it

dolL * 44 - learnT

she knew it's hard to move on
but she has learn the hardest way either
when her heart was broken into pieces
keeping herself in the box
refused to reveal to anyone for half an year
she fake a smile so no one could see it

on the new year eve
the moment she was told that
he got a new girlfriend
she realised..
life just moves on like nothing happened
they are no longer belong to each other anymore
again she could feel her heart is twisted
and the wound is bleeding again
she knew it will hurt again
but she could afford the pain with a smile now
from the day he went away
perhaps their story has came to an end
at the junction where they met and started the story

maybe it's the time for her to let go
reviving herself day by day
to continue her journey with her dreams
seeking for the new blessed love
she will keep him as an memorable chapter
in her memories forever
wishing him to take care of himself
letting go the bad romance
move on to the new chapter of life

she cherish all the memories
thanks for letting her ever walked into his life
he brought memorable moments in her journey
where they took this road someone's gotta go
it's doesn't matter
she wants him to know that
the guitar has stopped playing this song
but it remains there
she's learning to play new song
with a blessed heart

sometimes perfect couldn't keep this love alive
leave behind all the messed up
start afresh for a brand new life
they couldn't have loved each other better
he wanted her to move on
believing that she's sensible
he knew that she loves him so
love him enough to let him go
she will always be here as a friend

yesterday is a history
today is a gift
tomorrow is a mystery

dolL * 43 - admiT

when she is missing him
she's juz couldn't raise her hand to ring a call
she scared to hurt the wound again when touch it
maybe she has lost her braveness
maybe she couldn't find the reason anymore

it was always a smile when she saw his msg
she didn't expect to see him on the x'mas nite
he looks happy and cheer
"wife is for the whole life.."
heard it from his whisper
she felt that is he in love again
yet she knew she's not the one in his heart already
the smile that been missing long time ago
appeared on his face again

she didn't think that much
the rainbow in the dark might not going to exist
sitting beside him with an ordinary heart
she's happy enough she can talk to him again
she cherish it
as the one she ever loved

dolL * 42 - doubT

sometimes maybe silent is the best medicine

she didn't know her bugging will make him frustrated
maybe she has been asking too much
she doesn't mean to bother him
though she's not the priority

still she will be the back up to lend her hand
whenever he needs
no matter what she have said
it's all just her concern and worries

she will only talk to him freely like no one
he is the person who she can share all in her heart
ears to receive her every complain
place where she can cry her heart out
when she's upset
but it scared her
when his words sounds so serious
her tears dropped in a sudden on her pillow
she was blank..
because she scared the trust and dependent
that take years to build up
will just destroyed in seconds

he is off for his vacation again
it might be just a few days time
but it's seems long for her to spend her day
maybe she has got used to it
it's just like the alarm clock beside her bed
always ring at the time when she's still in her dream
she hates it yet she couldn't get rid of it
sometimes she can just off it and overslept
sometimes she still has to wake
even earlier to ring a morning call

it's the imperfect
that fills the satisfaction of life

dolL * 41 - belonGs

the nite when she logged in facebook

saw his updates
she heard him said out whats in his heart
but she didn't know what to reply
she got lost in the jungle again
maybe she needed to learn to be brave
to face everything that always reflect him

she found the similarity
both are same wishing and waiting for the miracles
that might be not going to happen
but sometimes miracles could be created
when it's believed

maybe they are not belong to each other
she doesn't know where is she belongs to
she juz hope she could belong to someone in the heart
a place where she could rest
when she is tired
a companion who she could rely on
when she feels helpless

she feels isolated
wishing if he could listen whats in her heart
wondering who is able to adopt this little doll
with a beaten heart

Rainbow in the Dark

she's trying hard to find
the rainbow in the dark sky
if there is coming an end to the world
she's not afraid
if she could hold it with her hand

dolL * 40 - perhapS

she's afraid of nothing
he is the courage that live her life
she's juz afraid of his refusal again
which dropped her to the deepest
she trust him
for who he is
and believed herself really miss him
so much unexpectedly
cause everything he does and words he says
it all takes her breath away
and now she's left with nothing

when he walked away
she thought of him and whispered
"everything's okay"
when she saw the seaweed soup on the table
she's now believing
she cares
if everything of him is okay
if he has enough rest
if he takes care of himself well
maybe it's true
she can't live without him
maybe two is better than one

maybe she's not the priority
but she wishes she could be the one he saw
at the end of a tiring working day
juz to accompany him by his side
sharing stories of the day
how adorable it would be

dolL * 39 - lockeD

it's was 2 months ago
when she last saw him at the party
same black and white checkers shirt
wearing on both of them
they were quiet in the crowds
till the moment before she left
her night was brighten
when their line of sights met

he looked sallow
she hopes he doesn't overload himself
still there is someone worry for him
friends said it's a happiness thing to be with him
but why their story doesn't carry on smoothly
like the fairy tales that she read

the nights he came into her dream
the moment her tears dropped
she knew that her heart still remained for him
she wished to stay in the dream
stay in the flash been with him
stay in his warm hugz
his existence drove her the energy to move on
turned into a doll that can be with him all the time
feeling want to stay in his world
though she knew it's hard in real
her heart is locked
he is the key
to unlock the chain