dolL * 32 - serenE

every words that he told her that day
keep on repeating in her mind everyday
every single moments..

she doesn't angry or get mad at him
she is just trying to soothe her mind
and getting herself to analyze the situation
she gives him time to rest himself
as well as herself..
maybe he needs some time and space
to spare himself out of the frame of stress
problems that he has in his life
she doesn't want to be his burden too
if it's not happy, it's not the end
it's just the beginning of their life..

she has tried her best
to put herself into work this two weeks
but still she feel empty in her heart
worse than she didn't get to see him
she cant explain the feeling
she just knows that she feels real in herself when be with him

now the princess got lost in the jungle
and cant find the way back to her castle
cold wind and loneliness doesn't fear her
yet she doesn't move a step from the spot
bcoz she loves the nature of the jungle so much
and wish he can accompany her to live in the jungle together

during this period he thought that he knows it all
but this will only send her to misery
she never thought that need him there when she cry
she counted the days she has left him alone
everything that she did reminds her of him
and she loved the things that he did
she didn't go away
she just hides and thinks
she will not go away too..
the words that she need to hear
to always get her thru the day
she miss him..

dolL * 31 - difficultY

2 days ago.. it was 21/6/09
he said he wanted to tell her something
important about their relationship..
at that moment she already guessed what is he going to say
she just can't believe it
this day could happen..

he chose not to tell her in front of her
bcoz he didn't want to see her sad face
he scared to be nervous and didn't what to do
but she couldn't control herself
she wrote down her feelings on a small piece of paper
her brain was not working suddenly
and drove to his house
they talked in the car for an hour
she tried to calm her feeling down and talked to him
she didn't want to let her loved one to see her cry also
but still her tears can't stop dropping down
crying in her heart

she knew he always has his own thinking
she also has her determination
he chose to let go bcoz he felt that she deserved for better
he has too much stress and problems at this moment
and hardly have time for her
yet he felt more guilty when she always treat him nice
and been so patient to him
he just felt like to put down his mind
and live with the problems in his life
without involved her in
she disagreed with it
bcoz she couldn't leave him alone with all this
she felt sorry for didn't realise that
her love has given him so much pressure
till he really can't tolerate with it
to make this decision which he didn't want to
he hoped this will be more fair to her also
as he didn't want she feel sad when he always overlook her
which made him feel unfair to her
just bcoz of his selfishness

but for her..
she really can't let go of him
as he is the only one she loved for
she has loved him deeply in her heart
she hopes he doesn't give up for their relationship so easily
instead she only want to share with him all his pressure
take this as a care in life
and that will be the best way for her

after the argue of both determination
she didn't blame him for anything
but she get to know and understand him more than she did
she couldn't have the ability to fly anymore
she just wan to stay by his side
be his companion
and face the problems together
she hopes he can give each other a chance
let her walk into his world

dolL * 30

*8/6/09*

it was a wonderful day
even she still need to go to work as usual
but her mood was brighten up
when she's going to meet him
had lunch together after he finished work
he stirred her drinks for her before she finished her food
she use tissue to stop the water on the table
from dropping onto his leg
she wanted to buy him a hand cream
as his hand always got hurt during work
wearing the same purple pant together
a little action that showed
cares and loves
which are more than words

maybe no one understand this dream of them
they know just how difficult it is
but things will be different once they hold hands
thats what they been thru
she doesn't care how it's done
every single little thing that she did for him
she really meant it to him
she gonna be with him
and gives her hand to him
to fold her heart

*Purpled loVe*

28.05.2009
from this moment..
she hopes to be with him
for the following every 100th day
in their life..

dolL * 29 - differencE

sometimes she feels that
he is different from others
the way how he acts and he thinks
in others people's eye
he may not the perfect ideal one
but
the difference makes him unique
in her heart
that put them to be together

she accepts all about him
bcoz that is the one she loved for
her special only one
the feeling so strong
when he holds her hand
sitting by her side
she feels him in her heart
deeply..

she wish could live with him together
the scene that always comes into her dream
brighten up her nite
makes her sleep tightly
after the whole day long of work
she smiles in her dream

dolL * 28 - eternaL

she worked at a wedding dinner last nite
it's was a grand wedding at Fourpoints
printed the photos of memorable moments on the spot
while she was physically busy
she emotionally miss him too
she wore the purple jacket
which belongs to both of them

sometimes when the word "Marriage" came over her mind
she wonder how will it be
when she is the bride and he is the groom
from that moment onwards
they will never have to be alone
as her faith in him will never fade
thats all she really know

she willing to accept what she has
until the moment comes to her life
she feels warmed
when he's in the purple jacket that they have
she feels most loved
when she's in the presence of her special someone
somehow in someway
he attracted her, she clicked on his heart
her heart only belongs to him
wants to lives with him together

she went to temple to pray for him
she hopes everything goes on well for him
she worries as he got fever
he has no appetite for food
she hopes he get well soon
after he took medicine and rest
she wants to look after him by his side
thinking of him every single moments
she juz care of him

dolL 27 * - portraY

she went to the competition
to be his supporter
it was an interesting event that she ever went
even though tired but it's a sweet day

she always has a lots of thing to tell him
but her heart turn into silent mode
all the words can't be told out
it's hidden in her heart
when she is with him
she juz want to feel him by her side
for the every single moments

she knew the team were upset for the result
as well as him
but it's a competition
doesn't matter win or lose
it brings developments
by the way
he has won her heart away
he's already the champion
deep in her heart core

she doesn't have a good camera
to capture for every moments
all the pictures portray in her memories
her heart will be the album
to collect and memorize it

dolL * 26 - charmeD

she was with him for the preparation
the day before the competition
he talked about the new born baby
of his younger cousin
thinking of settling down with her
she was charmed to hear that

while she was enjoyed listening to him
he asked her if wan to get married with him
she paused for seconds
looking at him
even though she already got the answer
in her heart
at that moment she was juz too shocked
as she didn't know how to react in a sudden
to a dream that she has been dreamed for

the only answer in heart
will always be a yes
no matter when or where
she will be ready to be his princess

dolL * 25 - momentS

she felt the heartfelt from him
since the moment he accepted her sincere
she knew it might not be in the best situation
at this moment
been jobless and juz started with a new job
but she believe they can improve it
by working hard together thru their dreams

no matter in what situation
she knew she juz love him
her heart only belongs to him
her life filled up by him
it wouldn't complete without existing of him

they may have to live apart from each other

she felt dismayed at that moment
but she wouldn't ask for stay
as she understand what he wants
he is working hard to earn more
to own his own cafe in one day
that was his dream
she will give him full support
try hard to archive her dream as well
for the moment waiting for him

she cherished every moments with him
since the very beginning
this is the place where she got into
to extract her feeling
she is here for him

dolL * 24 - comforT

she was so sick of people's back stabbing
spreading rumors among others
she just ignored it and moved on

she works hard for her dream
sometimes it's really exhausting
but she feels worth it
bcoz they live for their dreams
they are busy most of the times
but their hearts stay connected
to each other

she miss him
touching her hair
and holding her hand
she needs him by her side
to let her into in his arms
giving her a warm hug
without any words
she could feel better

dolL * 23 - onlY

maybe he is not that perfect
in other people's eye
as no one is perfect in this world
but he is the one in her heart
the only one
no substitution could replace him
he is the special and only one
that she has been looking for

she miss him
yet she doesn't want to bring worries to him
she will be an independent girl
works hard for her dream
to create a brand based on him
JEWEL
it will be her dream together with him
she lives her dream
and make it come true

she only wants to be with him
holding his hand for the rest of her life

dolL * 22 - supporT

life always comes with twists and turns
things maybe not going right now
maybe it's just out of the mind
when it meets frustration
she always believes that
there is a hope all the time
when it comes to the dead end
there is always a spare light source
when the candles is going off
a hope just like a star in the dark

she appreciates for sharing his problem with her
she would like to share with him
face the problem and solve it together
she hopes he never take it on his own
as he has her with him now
he is not alone...

she hopes he always remember that
when he feels helpless,
and no one is on his side
he still got her by his side
she is here with him all the time
to be his listener
even the whole world going to neglect him
she will be the one who gives him support
because she cares for him

she understands how he feels
don't think too much
have a nice sleep tonight
everything will be okay babe
~.~*

dolL * 21 - togetheR

days and moments she's with him
even just a sms or a call in a single day
could fill her to full for a day

leaving down a sweet message
while he was sleeping or busy
hoping that he got enough sleep and rest
and taking good care of himself
worries come when he got sick
or dragged himself even he was tired
she would want to stay by his side
hold his hand until he's getting well

sometimes when they were together
unspoken understanding blended their feelings
her heart was so warm all the time
dropping her to work in the morning
accompany her to lunch together
after a drained day of work
the waiting for him to bring her back from work
she has forgotten the tiredness
with his concern, smile, hug
and a goodbye kiss before left

the waiting is worth her for him
since she has loved him from the start
she lives in his pocket of heart everyday
to feel what he feels
even she doesn't get to see him everyday
their hearts live together

they belong together
she wants to do everything for him
to get him through the day
and make everything okay

to be together with him
is the greatest happiness
he is the only one she let inside
she sees rainbow after the rain
she can breathe the air
because he is here with her

dolL * 20 - speciaL

the story began with J
J-rock bring them to this junction
his extraordinary attracted her
same sense of styles and colors
connected both J together
she found her happiness
with him

she loves his character
for being a pig
his hand warms her heart
the way he looks into her eyes
when he talks and tells her story
makes her feels that
he means to her
and she will keep every single memories
deep in her heart

she worries he easily got sick
as he always sleep very late
or tired with works and practices
she wants to take care of him

she believes that
their love is growing better each day
with supports and cares to each other
instead of materiality consumption
that's the moral she learns from the movie
"love matters"

for her
he is special
and
she will be his special one too

^-^*

dolL * 19 - beloveD

"if i were a boy..~~"
when the first time she listen to this song
she fell in love with it already
the melody touched her heart
it just like the first time she met him
she fall for him deeply
his voice melted her heart
before they met each other

he is the prince that she dream of
in her fantasy world
every moment that they had been together
brighten up her memory box
she wants to catch a star
to put into his heart
she wished to bring hopes to him
she will always be there to give him support

she believes that they were made
for each other
he is the only J in her heart
the most valuable jewel in the world
she juz wanted to be with him
^-^*

dolL * 18 - finallY

she always believed
the existing of miracles

when she was tiring of bunch of works
she got the sms from her pig
who she has missed out for quite a long time
she has fall for him again at last winter
as she loved him from the start
her heart melted..


she didn't expect that much of return
from the bday present she gave him
bcoz nothing changed after that
he told her..
he was so touch of her present
bcoz never got a gal treat him like this before
it was all her expression from her true heart
a special present that she ever create
only for someone special
like him..

she realli feels thankful to him
for his acceptance
to begin their story together
she has been waiting for this moment for so long
but it's all worth it
bcoz finalli her dream turns into real
he is the prince that she waiting for
all this while..

she will love him as who he is
share and care for him
as much as she can
no doubt trust and confidence are needed
but she will try her best
to be his princess~

dolL * 17 - oddnesS

she feels unfilled since that day

even she has been busy with works

her time was filled up

but not her mind

she got a lot of things to think and do

somehow she felt odd

something has been left out in her heart

which she used to very familiar with it

she put it in freezer of her heart

still it comes back randomly

now she's confused

she accepted the fact

sometime the air still got stucked in her chest

she felt that she doesn't own anything

since the drug was taken away from her

she lost her addiction yet she's not

maybe she's juz haven't get used to it

piece of her soul lost somewhere

need times to get it back

maybe she should put all that aside

go back to her fantasy world for vacation

do what she likes for herself

recharge the low battery to full

sometimes a fall doesn't equal to a lost

it enhances the strength to move further

she learnt the imperfect

she believes that

she had gone for what she wants

so be it if it doesn't want her back

maybe it doesn't deserve her anyways

dolL * 16 - exhausteD

she didn't know it would bring trouble to him

if she knew she won't ask for anything

she was took to pieces

she didn't expect this would happen

it's ok if he doesn't understand her feeling

but it realli hurt

when he scolded her

she knew it's useless to talk more

at that moment

if he felt better to put his temper on her

she would juz accept it

she juz hope nothing changes

she is still the one who always here for him

whenever he needs

go ahead for what he likes

as long as he is happy

thats enough for her

maybe she would try to change

her way of concern

but

the sister wouldn't leave him away

he is always her lovely brother

what happened is happened

she couldn't control it

she really hopes he understands

and believes in her

she won't do things that will trouble him

she need a rest

dolL * 15 - confuseD

the little birdie is staring at her

but she don think it can understand her

same like he doesn't understand her dream

hardly to give a smile

they have been gone thru all this

with honest and sincere

but couldn't find a same exit

how long would it be

from now on to the feel of heart ache

is there any imminent?

sometimes it is suffering

when pretend not to say a word

how does an expectation look like

her heart got hurt juz in a sudden

is it all about he hold hand with someone else

or the matter between her and him

he told her where is he going

yet she confused

at the next moment

she couldn't figure out

dolL * 14 - hurT

this is the first time

her dream comes true in real life

but she can't breathe the air

bcoz it's a dream which she doesn't wish to come true

how could this happened ?

all her six sense and observations

are correct

she is sick now..

her chest got stucked

hardly feels the air to breathe in

her brain run out of oxigen

she needs a doctor

to cure her sickness

to assemble her broken pieces of wing

the angel is too weak to fly

she is actualli not that strong as she thought

she need a support

for her to fly further

nothing is perfect in this world

learn better from the fall

take the imperfect to replace

be strong to continue journey

no matter how heart ache is
always need time to heal it

the angel wishes he could see

she flies higher with the wounded wing