28.08

she had a birthday wish

she wished she could spend her bday with him
the only birthday wish she made
that is the greatest birthday present for her
which neither a money worth present
nor an formal dinner could replace it

the moment he replied her msg
can't hold the tears of excitement
she can't wait to see him again
on her special day

sitting in the cafe with their Memories
the emergence of all the old times
reminded her of time was flying
since the day he walked into her life
the fairy tales lived her life
no doubt she ever upset and cried
but she always believe
Love is not love,
until someone receive it..
she can't tell how much she miss him
worries of he has enough rest
taking care of his health
doing well in his job
filled up her mind
she will take care of herself for him too

she wonders
if the fairy tales is never real
she would rather stay in it
to be his princess forever
would it be a rainbow appears
in the silent night
after the heavy rain pour?
雨后宁静的夜晚会有彩虹吗？

Paper & Pen

dolL * 36 - unknowN

she was watching drama in her room
the character in it reflected herself
conversations that meant to her
same things that she would worry and do
she just felt herself in the story

the invitation to his birthday
she has no word to describe it
definately she was happi that
he took the initiative
but yet she felt anxious
a stranger that she known
familiar yet unfamiliar
he treated her as usual like how they were been
sparkles of the stars twinkling
cold and warm switching on and off
sometimes he cares, but sometimes he's not
it's just like a storm came after the sun
she doesn't know how long could she stand
she just worried
she would fall into sickness
would it always be a rainbow after the rain?
she prays and wishes..

no doubt she wished she could know the answer
but she didn't ask anything about it
bcoz she gives a face
she feels the answer like the air
that she breathe in
yet it untouchable but she needs it
she wished he would tell her
she has been doing all this for him
without knowing the reasons why
her heart was driving her all the way
she wished she could know the status

worries and worries always filled up her mind
seems that the worries has overcame her cares
maybe the feel of longing has faded
without realizing
when their time was covering by works and problems
she's trying to find it back
the feeling that she has been lived with it for years
she doesn't want to lose the special one
bcoz she loves him deeply
plz stay at the corner that she can feel your warm
she will never go away
no matter when it rain or sun

14.08

the day she has been waiting for
she just hopes to do something special for him
on his special day
every year 14th of August
is a day that more important than her own birthday

things happened before is bothering her
as it's been a while they didn't see each other
her mind was bare
till the night before she talked to the friend
she gave her idea to gather all his friends for a hang out
and celebrate for him
she offered to help to contact them too
she really thanks her with her heart
*thanx siowei*
*hugz*
^-^

she didn't want to let him know that is her plan
she just wants to surprise him
without any expectation
he sms her trying to ask her
if she can go for his celebration
her tears of excitement dropped
for taking the initiative
she didn't know whats in his mind at that moment
she felt worth for what she has done for him
she promised she will go
to the party that she planned
her mind was full of twist and turn

no word can describe her feeling
when he walked towards her
and sit beside her
the subtle feeling just so real
sitting beside him is a happiness thing
to see his smile in front of her again
is the biggest comfort to her
having fun thru the night
they sang him bday song when the cake was served
bday trick was on after he blew the candles
passing chocolate piece from his mouth to hers
putting all the cream on his face
and made her to lick it off
first time she did it for his bday

she hopes he would like it for the night
with a card that she specially edited for him
he looks happy when he looked at those pictures
old picture of him that she kept for years
other than "happy birthday"
she didn't write any word in the card
it's all the pictures of their story
she lets the pictures to do the talks in her heart

she hopes this birthday is a different and special one
yet he knew the plan before the night end
he told her that he never had this kind of birthday before
this is meant to her
without finding out the status
she has loved him from the start
and she never change her way to love him
she hopes it last

dolL * 35 - wisheS

another week to go
planning to sketch all her feeling out
into pieces of paper
and color it
couldn't find a word to describe her feeling
drawing will do the talk
on the day itself
14.08

the haze outside her window
makes her hardly breathe the air
and the affection runs through her soul
hating it could go away
she wishes he didn't go away

maybe she hates that for the thing he didn't do
but she loves the thing he has done for her
hate makes her loves him more
she hates that she loves him
she wishes he doesn't get sick of this weather

she wishes she could photoshop on
their memories of fleeting
all the flashback
won't leave her alone
she wishes he could come back to her

nothing she can change the past
she couldn't change the habit of calling him pig too
she just wishes that he would listen to her
side of the story

dolL * 34 - clicK

weather changes its mood like crazy
rainy ending given to a hazy hot day
it just like her life
miss-adore-cherish-lost
pulling her up to the hills
and
pushing her down to the vale
it's never easy to take it alone,
it's even harder when it's two
beliefs and supports make her survived
she appreciates to those accompany by her side
while she's struggling
"Life is life photography, we all developed from negatives."

the air has a weird smell
but she couldn't feel anything in it
hardly breathe the air
probably her feeling has been arrested
she is breathless

keeping herself like nothing ever happened
though she knew she's not
just a little thing around
could always remind her of him

meeting her friend of friend
listening the same name calling around her ears
staying at the same area that she familiar with
brought her to the time and place where they've been
a call from his friend
colors that she wears
the road that leading to their destination
places that they used to eat together
everywhere she goes draws his shadow

it all clicking the red button in her heart
raising up all her veiled feeling
that buried in her heart
it never disappear
just a little thingy
will unveil all of it
*12 more days to his bday*

dolL * 34 - adorE

another day has gone
wishing him doing well everyday
though they are apart from each other
still she is here to stay
she will never say goodbye
just want to let him know
he is not alone
for she's always here with him

she miss his voice and the way he talks
the touch of his hand on her hair
the warm hand holding her with him
that always recharge her to full
he's always in her heart
she wants to hear from him
--------------------------------------------------------
he is just different
from those like to act perfect
talk candies and make donuts promise
in front of their girl..

without realizing how good he is
instead of confessing his imperfections to her
blocking her from being too good to him
but it couldn't stop her passionate of adoring
she will just stay with him silently
to feel him in her heart

she only feels herself real
when she's with him
she's not a pretentious type of girl
she never hide her adorableness
to the prince deep in her heart
though she is independent and walks confidently
but he didn't know the best thing he did is
he has won her heart
the patient to reads her words
the granting of their relationship
makes her believes in his authenticity
no one else will do this for her
in this world
-------------------------------------------------------------
she made up her mind
she will not go away
no matter how tough it is
no one else can be replaced
the special and only one in her heart
the charming star that she could see in the darkness
though he felt himself is nothing
the missing piece that she found to complete her life
she wants him to be her chef forever

probably too much space been given
leading them to the points apart from where they clicked
a distance of emotionless
had obstructed the passion from growing
problems and stresses had overcame his feeling
made him into pokerfaced
but the habit of caring for him
hardly get rid from her

just the other night
she thought she's tough to be on her own
occupying herself into bunch of works
only sleep can rest her mind
that always getting her into emo mode
still she prays for him everyday
hoping that he is fine
missing him madly
down to the core of her heart
she only feels adored when she's emo
你是我生命中的 最捨不得...

dolL * 33 - shadoW

she's counting down the days
to his birthday in one month
she still remember what she did for him
on his last birthday
she made a very special present for him
he felt her heart and sincere in it
her dream came true
because of him

she's not a drama queen
and she doesn't want to feel in this way
but she's just the way she is
her love to him will never change too
she doesn't know if it's a beautiful disaster
or a timeless castle in the sky
her tears drop on the withered rose
if the smell would come back again
or it only can be recalled in her memories
he confessed all his imperfect to her
she bear it all
yet she won't just leave him
their memories still alive in her heart
everywhere she go portraits the shadow of them
she feels him everywhere

it has been years she has him in her heart
she lives under his shadow
she will never learn how to put him down
even he made her cries and broke her heart
he picked up her happiness
yet he wanted to put it down
she believes in her sense that
he loves her too
he did
just his feeling has been concealed
in the situation that he's having at this moment
without he realized it

there's perfect only in his imperfections
for love to be true between her and him
she hopes time can give them a revive
to let the charm of love come back to them
she doesn't regret things that she has done
but the things she didn't do
when she had the chance
she doesn't regret to love someone
that really means to her
he's still the one that she loved for

dolL * 32 - serenE

every words that he told her that day
keep on repeating in her mind everyday
every single moments..

she doesn't angry or get mad at him
she is just trying to soothe her mind
and getting herself to analyze the situation
she gives him time to rest himself
as well as herself..
maybe he needs some time and space
to spare himself out of the frame of stress
problems that he has in his life
she doesn't want to be his burden too
if it's not happy, it's not the end
it's just the beginning of their life..

she has tried her best
to put herself into work this two weeks
but still she feel empty in her heart
worse than she didn't get to see him
she cant explain the feeling
she just knows that she feels real in herself when be with him

now the princess got lost in the jungle
and cant find the way back to her castle
cold wind and loneliness couldn't fear her
yet she doesn't move a step from the spot
bcoz she loves the nature of the jungle so much
and wish he can accompany her to live in the jungle together

during this period he thought that he knows it all
but this will only send her to misery
she never thought that need him there when she cry
she counted the days she has left him alone
everything that she did reminds her of him
and she loved the things that he did
she didn't go away
she just hides and thinks
she will not go away too..
the words that she need to hear
to always get her thru the day
she miss him..

dolL * 31 - difficultY

2 days ago.. it was 21/6/09
he said he wanted to tell her something
important about their relationship..
at that moment she already guessed what is he going to say
she just couldn't believe it
this day could happen..

he chose not to tell her in front of her
bcoz he didn't want to see her sad face
he scared to be nervous and didn't what to do
but she couldn't control herself
she wrote down her feelings on a small piece of paper
her brain was not working suddenly
and drove to his house
they talked in the car for an hour
she tried to calm her feeling down and talked to him
she didn't want to let her loved one to see her cry also
but still her tears can't stop dropping down
crying in her heart

she knew he always has his own thinking
she also has her determination
he chose to let go bcoz he felt that she deserved for better
he has too much stress and problems at this moment
and hardly have time for her
yet he felt more guilty when she always treat him nice
and been so patient to him
he just felt like to put down his mind
and live with the problems in his life
without involved her in
she disagreed with it
bcoz she couldn't leave him alone with all this
she felt sorry for didn't realise that
her love has given him so much pressure
till he really can't tolerate with it
to make this decision which he didn't want to
he hoped this will be more fair to her also
as he didn't want she feel sad when he always overlook her
which made him feel unfair to her
just bcoz of his selfishness

but for her..
she really can't let go of him
as he is the only one she loved for
she has loved him deeply in her heart
she hopes he doesn't give up for their relationship so easily
instead she only want to share with him all his pressure
take this as a care in life
and that will be the best way for her

after the argue of both determination
she didn't blame him for anything
but she get to know and understand him more than she did
she couldn't have the ability to fly anymore
she just wan to stay by his side
be his companion
and face the problems together
she hopes he can give each other a chance
let her walk into his world

dolL * 30

*8/6/09*

it was a wonderful day
even she still need to go to work as usual
but her mood was brighten up
when she's going to meet him
had lunch together after he finished work
he stirred her drinks for her before she finished her food
she use tissue to stop the water on the table
from dropping onto his leg
she wanted to buy him a hand cream
as his hand always got hurt during work
wearing the same purple pant together
a little action that showed
cares and loves
which are more than words

maybe no one understand this dream of them
they know just how difficult it is
but things will be different once they hold hands
thats what they been thru
she doesn't care how it's done
every single little thing that she did for him
she really meant it to him
she gonna be with him
and gives her hand to him
to fold her heart

*Purpled loVe*

28.05.2009
from this moment..
she hopes to be with him
for the following every 100th day
in their life..

dolL * 29 - differencE

sometimes she feels that
he is different from others
the way how he acts and he thinks
in others people's eye
he may not the perfect ideal one
but
the difference makes him unique
in her heart
that put them to be together

she accepts all about him
bcoz that is the one she loved for
her special only one
the feeling so strong
when he holds her hand
sitting by her side
she feels him in her heart
deeply..

she wish could live with him together
the scene that always comes into her dream
brighten up her nite
makes her sleep tightly
after the whole day long of work
she smiles in her dream

dolL * 28 - eternaL

she worked at a wedding dinner last nite
it's was a grand wedding at Fourpoints
printed the photos of memorable moments on the spot
while she was physically busy
she emotionally miss him too
she wore the purple jacket
which belongs to both of them

sometimes when the word "Marriage" came over her mind
she wonder how will it be
when she is the bride and he is the groom
from that moment onwards
they will never have to be alone
as her faith in him will never fade
thats all she really know

she willing to accept what she has
until the moment comes to her life
she feels warmed
when he's in the purple jacket that they have
she feels most loved
when she's in the presence of her special someone
somehow in someway
he attracted her, she clicked on his heart
her heart only belongs to him
wants to lives with him together

she went to temple to pray for him
she hopes everything goes on well for him
she worries as he got fever
he has no appetite for food
she hopes he get well soon
after he took medicine and rest
she wants to look after him by his side
thinking of him every single moments
she juz care of him

dolL 27 * - portraY

she went to the lion dance competition
to be his supporter
it was an interesting event that she ever went
even though tired but it's a sweet day

she always has a lots of thing to tell him
but her heart turn into silent mode
all the words can't be told out
it's hidden in her heart
when she is with him
she juz want to feel him by her side
for the every single moments

she knew the team were upset for the result
as well as him
but it's a competition
doesn't matter win or lose
it brings developments
by the way
he has won her heart away
he's already the champion
deep in her heart core

she doesn't have a good camera
to capture for every moments
all the pictures portray in her memories
her heart will be the album
to collect and memorize it

dolL * 26 - charmeD

she was with him for the preparation
the day before the competition
he talked about the new born baby
of his younger cousin
thinking of settling down with her
she was charmed to hear that

while she was enjoyed listening to him
he asked her if wan to get married with him
she paused for seconds
looking at him
even though she already got the answer
in her heart
at that moment she was juz too shocked
as she didn't know how to react in a sudden
to a dream that she has been dreamed for

the only answer in heart
will always be a yes
no matter when or where
she will be ready to be his princess

dolL * 25 - momentS

she felt the heartfelt from him
since the moment he accepted her sincere
she knew it might not be in the best situation
at this moment
been jobless and juz started with a new job
but she believe they can improve it
by working hard together thru their dreams

no matter in what situation
she knew she juz love him
her heart only belongs to him
her life filled up by him
it wouldn't complete without existing of him

they may have to live apart from each other

she felt dismayed at that moment
but she wouldn't ask for stay
as she understand what he wants
he is working hard to earn more
to own his own cafe in one day
that was his dream
she will give him full support
try hard to archive her dream as well
for the moment waiting for him

she cherished every moments with him
since the very beginning
this is the place where she got into
to extract her feeling
she is here for him

dolL * 24 - comforT

she was so sick of people's back stabbing
spreading rumors among others
she just ignored it and moved on

she works hard for her dream
sometimes it's really exhausting
but she feels worth it
bcoz they live for their dreams
they are busy most of the times
but their hearts stay connected
to each other

she miss him
touching her hair
and holding her hand
she needs him by her side
to let her into in his arms
giving her a warm hug
without any words
she could feel better

dolL * 23 - onlY

maybe he is not that perfect
in other people's eye
as no one is perfect in this world
but he is the one in her heart
the only one
no substitution could replace him
he is the special and only one
that she has been looking for

she miss him
yet she doesn't want to bring worries to him
she will be an independent girl
works hard for her dream
to create a brand based on him
JEWEL
it will be her dream together with him
she lives her dream
and make it come true

she only wants to be with him
holding his hand for the rest of her life

dolL * 22 - supporT

life always comes with twists and turns
things maybe not going right now
maybe it's just out of the mind
when it meets frustration
she always believes that
there is a hope all the time
when it comes to the dead end
there is always a spare light source
when the candles is going off
a hope just like a star in the dark

she appreciates for sharing his problem with her
she would like to share with him
face the problem and solve it together
she hopes he never take it on his own
as he has her with him now
he is not alone...

she hopes he always remember that
when he feels helpless,
and no one is on his side
he still got her by his side
she is here with him all the time
to be his listener
even the whole world going to neglect him
she will be the one who gives him support
because she cares for him

she understands how he feels
don't think too much
have a nice sleep tonight
everything will be okay babe
~.~*